bad band audition

we went to the pub and agreed that the music scene needed shaking up

then i rolled up at the rehearsal space with a screwdriver in my pedal box

ready to kick up some mad improvised dance noise jazz but it turned out

you just wanted to play loads of three minute pop songs about girls

that you’d already written in detail and wanted me to learn

i wish you well playing gigs to braindead fuckheads with yr archaic tribal crap

absence, <3, fond

I was uncharacteristically chill about things even though it was going well or perhaps thats why it was going well. Anyway it was unusual, defence mechanisms or something. I started to wonder if I was capable of properly falling for someone ever again. Then you went to Minnesota for a week and something stirred. I started privately getting all paranoid and intense and weird. Thats when i realised everything was ok because it turns out I do really care about you babe.

dorm chatter

I was in a ‘superior’ mixed dorm with a dividing wall in the middle. Something about the billiard millieu left an absence. Like finishing a jigsaw puzzle with one piece missing. I realised I needed more coke to plug the gap because other people began to repulse me. There was a tragic inertia and the night time convos all faded to babble.

mess

I always roach my prescription medication boxes so they fall to bits and the blister packs get free so I never know what I have and where it is. I eat benzos like sweets. Obsession. Compulsion. Terror. The rain, the rain. You probably don’t even realise this is about you.

circles

Gave her the old teenage insta-fuck

no prep time for this casserole, panic

boils of fury floating over commas

there is no music in this piece

even the circles have hard edges

circles waive edges no right to adage