I was on trial for some reason. I was in court.
“he was fine until he got into the drugs”
“yeah those nasty drugs ruined his life”
“Excuse me but fuck you both, this is hegemonic horse shit. It makes sense in a very basic commonsensical way but is it true? Its a load of fucking bollocks! I wasn’t fine before I got into drugs, if anything getting into drugs has allowed me to be more fine than I was prior to that. I have never been fucking fine. I have demons that circle like some kind of evil fucking distorted Alexander Calder piece and I can never escape unless I die, and sometimes when I take drugs I can partially escape for a bit, at least I can feel a gush of fresh air at the back door.”
“Drugs may exacerbate situations but they don’t change a character. So don’t blame drugs, don’t even blame the drug dealers. Blame the Queen, blame Rupert Murdoch, blame representative democracy, blame libraries, blame Tesco Express, blame Apple, blame Instagram, blame those machines you find at the entrances to supermarkets which sort out yr change for you. Blame me. Blame me. Blame me. I fucked up apparently, I’m sorry. Blame me but do not blame the drugs.”