life is like a puzzle with pieces missing
when you find out, its too late because
you are already invested in the puzzle
its state of insistent incompleteness
freaks you out and makes you twinge
it is like a tiny wound on yr heart
it was all too much
I burned the jigsaw
now i’m all spent up – chaotic pedagogies and brown ale
(that’ll wear down anyone given enough time)
tweedman is strutting and teasing
violently jerking off the taxpayer
austerity happens to us at the bottom
converts our world to grayscale
‘sorry but you will never be more than you are’
I am fucking determined to be… something
Everything you do is appreciated,
I hope you have a great day
it was february and i’d been unemployed and skint for months, my jsa and housing benefit wasn’t enough so my private debt was increasing at a frankly staggering pace. I was desperate. I got a job interview through one of those agencies. It was a phone interview and I aced it. The job was at a call centre. The first week was ‘training’, or… more accurately… dehumanisation, brainwashing, the implementation of a unique form of doublespeak, the process of rooting yr world within a limited perimiter where the only thing that counts is ‘the targets’. We were taught to never take no for an answer and to manipulate vulnerable people into giving us money that they couldn’t afford. On the last day after the training was over we were tested. I passed which was hardly surprising to me, the criteria seemed to be that you had to be either an idiot or good at lying. I’m both. The week’s training crushed my soul into sharp fragments. Sorry boss I need to go home, shards of soul just punctured my ribcage.
On my first day proper I didn’t even make it to the office floor. I had to get up very early, the breakfast team were on teevee and I hate them. Then I had to cycle across town in the snow, that was shit. After locking up my bike I walked to the front desk and felt the id card in my pocket, then I turned around and walked out of there. I spent the day feeding ducks in the park, then I had an impromptu snowball fight with strangers. Must we sacrifice our dignity and morality in order to survive?
he put chewing gum in the mashed potateh makeh. He’s got to go. It was all tangled up in the mashing end. You don’t mash chewing gum, it defeats the point.
get paid, mow the fucking lawn
there are problems with this
when the sentiment is not mutual
the previously acceptable actions
of a lover become insane;
the obsessive behaviour of a lunatic
am I on facebook cos i’m bored?
or am I bored cos i’m on facebook?
My experience of events may bear almost no resemblance
to a dispassionate recollection of the same events
we encourage and enable each others dysfunctionality
the future of our planet hangs in the fucking balance
but I am safe in a divergent reality
one in a range of simultaneous realities
I am not existing in the same place
as the people i’m communicating with
this causes problems
but it keeps me alive
a nation of the proudly ill-informed and nakedly self-interested
its terrifying, sleep deprivation, the wires move through the shadows
stone cold sober, not buying whatever it is that yr selling
zoning out, interplanetary anthropology, I give up ok?
New approach, shock tactics, subterfuge
nestle ourselves against the warm conventions
re-reun of a re-run, living in the shadows
deja vu becomes all we fucking know
familiarity is a fucked up bosom
we cower from progress like lemons
this narrative arc is reaching its conclusion
is it over yet?